The Secret of Saying No

Saying no is one of the best-kept secrets of time management. Think of all the times that you have agreed to do things you didn't really want to do. At the time it probably seemed easier to say yes. You probably felt that you couldn't refuse. To do so would have made you feel guilty; or perhaps you simply couldn't think of a good excuse. You then found yourself doing something that took up your time, didn't contribute to your own priorities, and that you didn't want to do. But are there good reasons for not saying yes?

Doing too much for others means that there is less time for your own work. It piles up and you overwork and become prone to stress and anxiety. Many things you agree to do for others will be non-essential according to your own priorities and you will feel trapped and annoyed.

Tony, a sales clerk, was always being given extra work to do by his boss. His colleagues often asked to him do work for them 'to help out'. He tried to be helpful and do it all by putting his own work second. He found that he never seemed to get to his main work until the end of the week and began to feel angry and put upon. Because he thought he did not have the right to refuse, he kept his feelings to himself. One exceptionally busy day when a colleague asked him to deal with yet another piece of work, he finally snapped and yelled at him. When his boss found out, he was horrified. 'If only you'd said something. We thought you were keen to take on the extra work.'

Tony's story has a happy ending. He and his colleagues have come to an agreement about what they can and cannot take on for others. His boss has agreed a sensible workload. But the warning is for all of us. It doesn't pay to say yes all the time.

Most people have been brought up to be polite to others. It is therefore a natural reaction to want to please others and to make life easy for everyone by agreeing wherever possible. However, this does not help you manage your time properly; nor does saying yes to everything necessarily endear you to others. They may take you for granted when anything needs to be done and show less respect for you. They are less likely to respect your own need for getting on with your own work.