What is More Important than Losing Weight - Change the Voice in Your Head

Changing habits requires thought and planning. It's important for you to examine your thoughts about your body and about losing weight, as well as your dietary behavior. What do the voices in your head tell you about who you are? Do they build you up or do they tear you down? If the voices in your head are destructive, you need to be more intentional about changing them, just as you are about changing your eating pat­terns. If you don't, you will not achieve your goal. You cannot change what you don't recognize (an Oprahism). Take time to look at how you feel.

Getting clear about what you DON'T like or want in your life will help you make decisions about what you DO want. It is not my inten­tion to make you feel worse about yourself, but I do want you to rec­ognize how you truly feel so you can move on and live a more positive life. The next exercise asks you to write down how you feel about being overweight. It may be difficult to uncover your feelings, so let me start you out by sharing some comments I've heard from other teens. Then you can fill in your own thoughts.

Many teens say: I feel...

- ugly: I can't wear the latest styles, and the clothes I do wear look sloppy.

- self-conscious: I don't fit in with the other girls and guys.

- embarrassed: I hate to go to parties or go shopping with friends because they all look better than me.

- angry: My mother tells me not to eat fattening things, and then she keeps them in the house.

- envious: My best friend is skinny and can eat anything.

- frustrated: I want the weight off, but I want to eat with my friends and have fun, too.

- insecure: People talk about me behind my back and say I'm fat.

- bad: I don't date very often.

If you could close your eyes and magically be rid of your extra weight, how would you look? How would you feel? What would you be doing? What would you be wearing? How would your life be different? Try it. Close your eyes and picture yourself the way you want to look. Is it hard?

Has it ever crossed your mind that the reason you haven't lost the weight (even though you've tried) is because you may be afraid it will change your personality, or because you may have to make new deci­sions about your social life and how people respond to you? This can be a pretty scary thought. After all, you know what your life is like now. You may not like it all that much, but at least there are few surprises. Maybe you think that if you were thinner, you might be:

- too different: I know who I am now.

- noticed: I don't know if I want that.

- friendless: My friends say they like me as I am.

- sexy: That scares me.

- responsible: I would have to do those things I said I would do when I lost weight.

- like everyone else: I like that I'm different.

If you honestly think that the fear of losing weight is preventing you from becoming the person you desire to be, talk to someone about it, like a counselor or your parents.